well it's been extremely long since i've been on here.

just thought i would update where i am in my life now. I have started college at NIU and am majoring in elementary education. All my classes are really good. I also am coming up on my one year aniversary with my boyfriend. It's really exciting because it is one of my longest relationships. Well I dont really know what else to put in here so i think i'll leave it here.

wow i havent posted in a while. havent really seen a reason too. nothing happening in my boring life and wasnt even really that down to need to pour out my inermost feelings.

well i think first off i'll update you on whats been happening here. i went on the six day misson trip/servent event with my youth group it was so awsome last week. we were in missouri at heights point a lutheran camp on the lake of the ozarks. we were there to build a retaining wall with 70-80 pound concret blocks. we laid about 600+ in three days of work which is more then the earlier two servent group had done. we got the wall done which the people there didnt think we were going to do since there was only 11 of us there. That was the most amazing part was that we were able to do it. the only bad thing was that i got hit in the back of the leg by one of the bricks because it came down the hill wrong. i am fine now just a nice scrap and bruse nothing major.

then just this week alone i have been very busy getting ready for school which starts next wednesday. i got my braces off on monday yeah no more braces for me. had band camp monday, tuesday, and wednesday. Had a freshman kick off that i was an ambassador for today. and other then that getting ready for school.

well like i said earlier i was in a pretty good mood lately but that is kinda gone now and i dont really know why. i just know that i started thinking how crappy it is to want to have exs as friends i dont think it would ever really work to have them as good friends let alone friends. first off i saw one of my exs today and all he could to was wave a distant hello and when he was right by me act like i wasnt there. then to not have my other ex not talk to me in a while when we had just finally started talking again is really hard. and i just realize that i will probably never have success in haveing a boyfriend.

well enough of me ranting bout stuff that no one probably even cares to hear bout.

ps jon your poems were really good

i hate my life rgith now and am so down i fell like some of my friends started talking to me for a while and they are either avoiding me or just dont have the time to talk i dont know but it hurts me. I feel like they dont care bout me. They had told me that they wanted to get back together with me and now i havent spoken to them in like two weeks. it just makes me wonder even more what it would be like if they had never moved away or if they were to move back to this little twon that they would probably hate anyways. i just hate this twon i am so lonely here and i feel like an outsider. i dont even know why i care to go another day in this town in this life i hate it so bad. well just thought id put something up sinc ei havent posted in a while.

oh by the way i'll be leaving sunday for a six day mission trip to mosuri. wont have any way to talk to you could call and leave a message or email or im me but i wont get it till i am back. maybe this mission trip will help me change my look on life some i hope at least.